Поющие в терновнике

           Backinhishotelroomhehadwept,butcalmedafterawhileandthought:What’spastisdonewith;forthefutureIwillbeashehoped.Andsometimeshesucceeded,sometimeshefailed.Buthetried.HisfriendshipwiththemenintheVaticanbecamethemostpreciousearthlythinginhislife,andRomebecametheplacetowhichhefledwhenonlytheircomfortseemedtostandbetweenhimselfanddespair.Comfort.Theirswasastrangekind.Notthelayingonofhands,orsoftwords.Ratherabalmfromthesoul,asiftheyunderstoodhispain.

           Andhethought,ashewalkedthewarmRomannightafterdepositingJustineinherpension,thathewouldneverceasetobegratefultoher.Forashehadwatchedhercopewiththeordealofthatafternooninterview,hehadfeltastirringoftenderness.Bloodybutunbowed,thelittlemonster.Shecouldmatchthemeveryinchoftheway;didtheyrealizeit?Hefelt,hedecided,whathemighthavefeltonbehalfofadaughterhewasproudof,onlyhehadnodaughter.SohehadstolenherfromDane,carriedherofftowatchheraftermathreactiontothatoverpoweringecclesiasticism,andtotheDaneshehadneverseenbefore;theDanewhowasnotandcouldnoteverbeafull-heartedpartofherlife.

           ThenicestthingabouthispersonalGod,hewenton,wasthatHecouldforgiveanything;HecouldforgiveJustineherinnategodlessnessandhimselftheshuttingdownofhisemotionalpowerhouseuntilsuchtimeasitwasconvenienttoreopenit.Onlyforawhilehehadpanicked,thinkinghehadlostthekeyforever.