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Chapter 17

           Inactualfact,hewascuriouslysimilartothemanhehadmetinRomein1943;likeRalphdeBricassartheunderstoodhedidwrongevenashedidit.Notthathisawarenessoftheevilinhimstoppedhimforasecond;onlythathepaidforhismaterialadvancementinpainandself-torment.Tomanypeopleitmightnothaveseemedworththepricehepaid,buttohimitwasworthtwicethesuffering.OnedayhewasgoingtorunGermanyandmakeitwhathehaddreamed,hewasgoingtoscotchtheAryanLutheranethic,shapeabroaderone.Becausehecouldn’tpromisetoceasesinninghehadbeenrefusedabsolutionintheconfessionalseveraltimes,butsomehowheandhisreligionmuddledthroughinonepiece,untilaccumulatedmoneyandpowerremovedhimsomanylayersbeyondguilthecouldpresenthimselfrepentant,andbeshriven.

           In1955,oneoftherichestandmostpowerfulmeninthenewWestGermanyandafreshfaceinitsBonnparliament,hewentbacktoRome.ToseekoutCardinaldeBricassart,andshowhimtheendresultofhisprayers.Whathehadimaginedthatmeetingmightbehecouldnotafterwardremember,forfrombeginningtoendofithewasconsciousofonlyonething:thatRalphdeBricassartwasdisappointedinhim.Hehadknownwhy,hehadn’tneededtoask.Buthehadn’texpectedtheCardinal’spartingremark:

           "IhadprayedyouwoulddobetterthanI,foryouweresoyoung.Noendisworthanymeans.ButIsupposetheseedsofourruinaresownbeforeourbirths."

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