Поющие в терновнике
Chapter 17
Inactualfact,hewascuriouslysimilartothemanhehadmetinRomein1943;likeRalphdeBricassartheunderstoodhedidwrongevenashedidit.Notthathisawarenessoftheevilinhimstoppedhimforasecond;onlythathepaidforhismaterialadvancementinpainandself-torment.Tomanypeopleitmightnothaveseemedworththepricehepaid,buttohimitwasworthtwicethesuffering.OnedayhewasgoingtorunGermanyandmakeitwhathehaddreamed,hewasgoingtoscotchtheAryanLutheranethic,shapeabroaderone.Becausehecouldn’tpromisetoceasesinninghehadbeenrefusedabsolutionintheconfessionalseveraltimes,butsomehowheandhisreligionmuddledthroughinonepiece,untilaccumulatedmoneyandpowerremovedhimsomanylayersbeyondguilthecouldpresenthimselfrepentant,andbeshriven.
In1955,oneoftherichestandmostpowerfulmeninthenewWestGermanyandafreshfaceinitsBonnparliament,hewentbacktoRome.ToseekoutCardinaldeBricassart,andshowhimtheendresultofhisprayers.Whathehadimaginedthatmeetingmightbehecouldnotafterwardremember,forfrombeginningtoendofithewasconsciousofonlyonething:thatRalphdeBricassartwasdisappointedinhim.Hehadknownwhy,hehadn’tneededtoask.Buthehadn’texpectedtheCardinal’spartingremark:
"IhadprayedyouwoulddobetterthanI,foryouweresoyoung.Noendisworthanymeans.ButIsupposetheseedsofourruinaresownbeforeourbirths."
