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           Whathadbeenthematterwithher,todoubthimso?Shewassoashamedofherselfshefeltlikejabbingthebigdarningneedleintoherleg,butshewastoohappytocontemplateself-inflictionofpainforverylong,andanyway,itwasjustanextravagantwayofexpressingherremorse.

           Herfaceshone."Oh,Daddy,I’llloveit!"

           "Whataboutme,Daddy?"askedStuart.

           "Thegirlsdon’tneedyouaroundthehouseanymore,soyou’llbeoutinthepaddocksagain,Stu."

           "Allright,Daddy."HelookedatFeelongingly,butsaidnothing.

           ***

           FeeandMeggielearnedtodrivethenewRolls-RoyceMaryCarsonhadtakendeliveryofaweekbeforeshedied,andMeggielearnedtoworkthedogswhileFeelearnedtokeepthebooks.

           Ifithadn’tbeenforFatherRalph’scontinuedabsence,Meggieforonewouldhavebeenabsolutelyhappy.Thiswaswhatshehadalwayslongedtodo:beoutthereinthepaddocksastrideahorse,doingstockman’swork.YettheacheforFatherRalphwasalwaysthere,too,thememoryofhiskisssomethingtobedreamedabout,treasured,feltagainathousandtimes.However,memorywasn’tapatchonreality;tryasshewould,theactualsensationcouldn’tbeconjuredup,onlyashadowofit,likeathinsadcloud.

           WhenhewrotetotellthemaboutFrank,herhopesthathewouldusethisasapretexttovisitthemwereabruptlyshatttered.Hisdescriptionofthetriptosee,FrankinGoulburnGaolwascarefullyworded,strippedofthepainithadengendered,givingnohintofFrank’ssteadilyworseningpsychosis.