Вино из одуванчиков

           Threecolds,fourmildattacksofindigestion,oneseizureofbloat,arthritis,lumbago,whatsheimaginedtobegout,aseverebronchialcough,incipientasthma,andspotsonherarms,plusanabscessedsemicircularcanalwhichmadeherreellikeadrunkenmothsomedays,backache,headpains,andnausea.Costofmedicine:ninety-eightdollarsandseventy-eightcents.

           Secondly,thingsbrokeninthehouseduringthetwelvemonthsjustpast;twolamps,sixvases,tendishes,onesouptureen,twowindows,onechair,onesofacushion,sixglasses,andonecrystalchandelierprism.Totalcost:twelvedollarsandtencents.

           Thirdly,herpainsthisverynight.Hertoehurtfrombeingrunover.Herstomachwasupset.Herbackwasstiff,herlegswerepulsingwithagony.Hereyeballsfeltlikewadsofblazingcotton.Hertonguetastedlikeadustmop.Herearswerebellingandringingaway.Cost?Shedebated,goingbacktobed.

           Tenthousanddollarsinpersonalsuffering.

           "Trytosettlethisoutofcourt!"shesaidhalfaloud.

           "Eh?"saidherhusband,awake.

           Shelaydowninbed."Isimplyrefusetodie."

           "Begpardon?"hesaid.

           "Iwon’tdie!"shesaid,staringattheceiling.

           "That’swhatIalwaysclaimed,"saidherhusband,andturnedovertosnore.

           InthemorningMrs.ElmiraBrownwasupearlyanddowntothelibraryandthentothedrugstoreandbacktothehousewhereshewasbusymixingallkindsofchemicalswhenherhusband,Samcamehomewithanemptymailpouchatnoon.

           "Lunch’sintheicebox."