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Roast Mutton

           "Muttonyesterday,muttontoday,andblimey,ifitdon’tlooklikemuttonagaintomorrow,"saidoneofthetrolls.

           "Neverablinkingbitofmanfleshhavewehadforlongenough,"saidasecond."Whatthe’ellWilliamwasa-thinkin’oftobringusintothesepartsatall,beatsme-andthedrinkrunnin’short,what’smore,"hesaidjoggingtheelbowofWilliam,whowastakingapullathisjug.Williamchoked."Shutyermouth!"hesaidassoonashecould."Yercan’texpectfolktostophereforeverjusttobeetbyyouandBert.You’veetavillageandahalfbetweenyer,sincewecomedownfromthemountains.Howmuchmored’yerwant?Andtime’sbeenupourway,whenyer’dhavesaid’thankyerBill’foranicebito’fatvalleymuttonlikewhatthisis."Hetookabigbiteoffasheep’sleghewastoasting,andwipedhislipsonhissleeve.Yes,Iamafraidtrollsdobehavelikethat,eventhosewithonlyoneheadeach.AfterhearingallthisBilbooughttohavedonesomethingatonce.Eitherheshouldhavegonebackquietlyandwarnedhisfriendsthattherewerethreefair-sizedtrollsathandinanastymood,quitelikelytotrytoasteddwarf,orevenpony,forachange;orelseheshouldhavedoneabitofgoodquickburgling.Areallyfirst-classandlegendaryburglarwouldatthispointhavepickedthetrolls’pockets-itisnearlyalwaysworthwhileifyoucanmanageit-,pinchedtheverymuttonoffthespite,purloinedthebeer,andwalkedoffwithouttheirnoticinghim.Othersmorepracticalbutwithlessprofessionalpridewouldperhapshavestuckadaggerintoeachofthembeforetheyobservedit.Thenthenightcouldhavebeenspentcheerily.Bilboknewit.Hehadreadofagoodmanythingshehadneverseenordone.Hewasverymuchalarmed,aswellasdisgusted;hewishedhimselfahundredmilesaway,andyet-andyetsomehowhecouldnotgostraightbacktoThorinandCompanyempty-handed.Sohestoodandhesitatedintheshadows.

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