Белые люди

Chapter III

           Iwastogotohishousetospendaweekormore,attendaDrawing-Room,andshowmyselfatafewgreatpartiesinapropermanner,thisbeingconsideredmydutytowardmyrelatives.These,Ibelieve,weresecretlyafraidthatifIwereneverseentheirworldwouldcondemnmyguardianforneglectofhischarge,orwoulddecidethatIwasofunsoundmindandintentionallykepthiddenawayatMuircarrie.Hewasanhonorableman,andhiswifewasawell-meaningwoman.Ididnotwishtodothemaninjustice,soIpaidthemyearlyvisitsandtriedtobehaveastheywished,muchasIdislikedtobedressedinfinefrocksandtoweardiamondsonmylittleheadandroundmythinneck.

           ItwasanoddthingthatthistimeIfoundIdidnotdreadthevisittoLondonasmuchasIusuallydid.ForsomeunknownreasonIbecameconsciousthatIwasnotreallyreluctanttogo.Usuallythethoughtofthedaysbeforememademerestlessandlow-spirited.Londonalwaysseemedsoconfusedandcrowded,andmademefeelasifIwerebeingpushedandjostledbyamobalwaysmakingatiresomenoise.ButthistimeIfeltasifIshouldsomehowfindaclearplacetostandin,whereIcouldlookonandlistenwithoutbeingbewildered.Itwasacuriousfeeling;Icouldnothelpnoticingandwonderingaboutit.

           Iknewafterwardthatitcametomebecauseachangewasdrawingnear.IwishsomuchthatIcouldtellaboutitinabetterway.ButIhaveonlymyownway,whichIamafraidseemsverylikeaschool-girl’s.

           JeanBraidfutemadethejourneywithme,asshealwaysdid,anditwaslikeeveryotherjourney.

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