Chapter III
ItwaswhenIwastenyearsoldthatWeeElspethceasedcomingtome,andthoughImissedheratfirst,itwasnotwithasenseofgrieforfinalloss.Shehadonlygonesomewhere.
ItwasthenthatAngusMacayrebegantobemytutor.Hehadbeenaprofoundstudentandhadlivedamongbooksallhislife.HehadhelpedJeaninhertrainingofme,andIhadlearnedmorethanisusuallytaughttochildrenintheirearlyyears.WhenagrandgovernesswassenttoMuircarriebymyguardian,shewasamazedatthethingsIwasfamiliarwith,butsheabhorredthedark,frowningcastleandthelonelinessoftheplaceandwouldnotstay.Infact,nogovernesswouldstay,andsoAngusbecamemytutorandtaughtmeoldGaelicandLatinandGreek,andwereadtogetherandstudiedtheancientbooksinthelibrary.Itwasastrangeeducationforagirl,andnodoubtmadememorethaneverunlikeothers.ButmylifewasthelifeIloved.
WhenmyguardiandecidedthatImustlivewithhiminLondonandbeeducatedasmoderngirlswere,Itriedtobeobedientandwenttohim;butbeforetwomonthshadpassedmywretchednesshadmademesoillthatthedoctorsaidIshouldgointoadeclineanddieifIwerenotsentbacktoMuircarrie.
“It’snotonlytheLondonairthatseemstopoisonher,”hesaidwhenJeantalkedtohimaboutme;“itissomethingelse.Shewillnotlive,that’sall.SirIanmustsendherhome.”
AsIhavesaidbefore,IhadbeenanunattractivechildandIwasaplain,uninterestingsortofgirl.Iwasshyandcouldnottalktopeople,soofcourseIboredthem.