Американская трагедия

Chapter 15

           Andthiswouldcausehismindtopaintanotherpictureinwhich,hadfortunefavoredhiminthefirstplacebybirth,hewouldnowbeinsomecanoeonSchroonorRacquetteorChamplainLakewithSondraFinchleyorsomesuchgirl,paddlingandlookingattheshoresofascenemoredistinguethanthis.Ormighthenotberidingorplayingtennis,orintheeveningdancingorracingfromplacetoplaceinsomehigh-poweredcar,Sondrabyhisside?Hefeltsooutofit,solonelyandrestlessandtorturedbyallthathesawhere,foreverywherethathelookedheseemedtoseelove,romance,contentment.Whattodo?Wheretogo?Hecouldnotgoonalonelikethisforever.Hewastoomiserable.

           InmemoryaswellasmoodhismindwentbacktothefewgayhappydayshehadenjoyedinKansasCitybeforethatdreadfulaccidentRatterer,Hegglund,Higby,TinaKogel,Hortense,Ratterer’ssisterLouiseinshort,thegaycompanyofwhichhewasjustbeginningtobeapartwhenthatterribleaccidenthadoccurred.AndnexttoDillard,Rita,Zellaacompanionshipthatwouldhavebeenbetterthanthis,certainly.WeretheGriffithsnevergoingtodoanymoreforhimthanthis?Hadheonlycomeheretobesneeredatbyhiscousin,pushedaside,orrathercompletelyignoredbyallthebrightcompanyofwhichthechildrenofhisrichunclewereapart?Andsoplainly,fromsomanyinterestingincidents,evennowinthisdeadsummertime,hecouldseehowprivilegedandrelaxedandapparentlydecidedlyhappywerethoseofthatcircle.

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