Видоизмененный углерод

Chapter 16

           Andinanycase,whatdoesfreemeaninthiscontext?Freetospillsemenonmywife’sfaceandbreasts?Freetohavehermasturbateinfrontofme,tosharetheuseofherfleshwithothermenandwomen.Twohundredandfiftyyearsisalongtime,Mr.Kovacs,timeenoughforaverylonglistofdirty,degradingfantasiestoinfestthemindandtitillatethehormonesofeachfreshsleeveyouwear.Whileallthetimeyourfinerfeelingsgrowpurerandmorerarified.Doyouhaveanyconceptofwhathappenstoemotionalbondsoversuchaperiod?"

           Iopenedmymouth,buthehelduphishandforsilenceandIlethimhaveit.It’snoteverydayyougettoheartheoutpouringsofacenturies-oldsoulandBancroftwasinfullflow.

           "No,"heansweredhisownquestion."Howcouldyou?JustasyourcultureistooshallowtoappreciatewhatitistoliveonEarth,yourlifeexperiencecannotpossiblyencompasswhatitistolovethesamepersonfortwohundredandfiftyyears.Intheend,ifyouendure,ifyoubeatthetrapsofboredomandcomplacency,intheendwhatyouareleftwithisnotlove.Itisalmostveneration.Howthentomatchthatrespect,thatvenerationwiththesordiddesiresofwhateverfleshyouarewearingatthetime?Itellyou,youcannot."

           "Soinsteadyouventyourselfonprostitutes?"

           Thethinsmilereturned."Iamnotproudofmyself,Mr.Kovacs.Butyoudonotlivethislongwithoutacceptingyourselfineveryfacet,howeverdistasteful.Thewomenarethere.

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