Chapter 20

           

           "Achildforsaken,wakingsuddenly,Whosegazeafeardonallthingsrounddothrove,AndseethonlythatitcannotseeThemeetingeyesoflove."

           Twohourslater,DorotheawasseatedinaninnerroomorboudoirofahandsomeapartmentintheViaSistina.

           Iamsorrytoaddthatshewassobbingbitterly,withsuchabandonmenttothisreliefofanoppressedheartasawomanhabituallycontrolledbyprideonherownaccountandthoughtfulnessforotherswillsometimesallowherselfwhenshefeelssecurelyalone.AndMr.CasaubonwascertaintoremainawayforsometimeattheVatican.

           YetDorotheahadnodistinctlyshapengrievancethatshecouldstateeventoherself;andinthemidstofherconfusedthoughtandpassion,thementalactthatwasstrugglingforthintoclearnesswasaself-accusingcrythatherfeelingofdesolationwasthefaultofherownspiritualpoverty.Shehadmarriedthemanofherchoice,andwiththeadvantageovermostgirlsthatshehadcontemplatedhermarriagechieflyasthebeginningofnewduties:fromtheveryfirstshehadthoughtofMr.Casaubonashavingamindsomuchaboveherown,thathemustoftenbeclaimedbystudieswhichshecouldnotentirelyshare;moreover,afterthebriefnarrowexperienceofhergirlhoodshewasbeholdingRome,thecityofvisiblehistory,wherethepastofawholehemisphereseemsmovinginfuneralprocessionwithstrangeancestralimagesandtrophiesgatheredfromafar.

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