Мидлмарч

Chapter 74

           Hehadmarriedherwiththatbadpastlifehiddenbehindhim,andshehadnofaithlefttoprotesthisinnocenceoftheworstthatwasimputedtohim.Herhonestostentatiousnaturemadethesharingofameriteddishonorasbitterasitcouldbetoanymortal.

           Butthisimperfectlytaughtwoman,whosephrasesandhabitswereanoddpatchwork,hadaloyalspiritwithinher.Themanwhoseprosperityshehadsharedthroughnearlyhalfalife,andwhohadunvaryinglycherishedhernowthatpunishmenthadbefallenhimitwasnotpossibletoherinanysensetoforsakehim.Thereisaforsakingwhichstillsitsatthesameboardandliesonthesamecouchwiththeforsakensoul,witheringitthemorebyunlovingproximity.Sheknew,whenshelockedherdoor,thatsheshouldunlockitreadytogodowntoherunhappyhusbandandespousehissorrow,andsayofhisguilt,Iwillmournandnotreproach.Butsheneededtimetogatherupherstrength;sheneededtosoboutherfarewelltoallthegladnessandprideofherlife.Whenshehadresolvedtogodown,shepreparedherselfbysomelittleactswhichmightseemmerefollytoahardonlooker;theywereherwayofexpressingtoallspectatorsvisibleorinvisiblethatshehadbegunanewlifeinwhichsheembracedhumiliation.Shetookoffallherornamentsandputonaplainblackgown,andinsteadofwearinghermuch-adornedcapandlargebowsofhair,shebrushedherhairdownandputonaplainbonnet-cap,whichmadeherlooksuddenlylikeanearlyMethodist.

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