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Chapter 6

           Youmaymakethebiggestliteraryfuroreoftheseason,andthatwillcountasnothingamong‘swagger’people,butifyouwintheDerbyyouwillbeareallyfamousman.PersonallyspeakingIhaveagreatdealtodowithracinginfactIamdevotedtoit.IamalwayspresentateverygreatraceInevermissone;Ialwaysbet,andIneverlose!Andnowletmeproceedwithyoursocialplanofaction.AfterwinningtheDerbyyouwillenterforayachtraceatCowes,andallowthePrinceofWalestobeatyoujustnarrowly.Thenyouwillgiveagranddinner,arrangedbyaperfectchefandyouwillentertainHisRoyalHighnesstothestrainsof‘Britanniarulesthewaves,’whichwillserveasaprettycompliment.Youwillalludetothesamewell-wornsonginagracefulspeechandtheprobableresultofallthiswillbeone,orperhapstwoRoyalinvitations.Sofar,sogood.WiththeheatsofsummeryouwillgotoHomburgtodrinkthewaterstherewhetheryourequirethemornotandintheautumnyouwillassembleashooting-partyatthecountryseatbefore-mentionedwhichyouwillhavepurchased,andinviteRoyaltytojoinyouinkillingthepoorlittlepartridges.

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