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Chapter 36

           Mymotherstandsbesidemeapparentlywaiting;alittlewhileagoIthoughtIheardhersay‘Come,Sibyl!Cometoyourchosenlover!’NowIamconsciousofagreatsilenceeverywhereanumbnesshasfallenuponme,andadeliciousrespitefrompainbutIseemyfaceintheglassandknowitisthefaceofthedead.ItwillsoonbealloverafewmoreuneasybreathingsandIshallbeatrest.IamgladfortheworldandIwerenevergoodfriends;Iamsurethatifwecouldknow,beforewewereborn,whatlifereallyis,weshouldnevertakethetroubletolive!

           ·····Ahorriblefearhassuddenlybesetme.Whatifdeathwerenotwhatthescientistsdeemitsupposeitwereanotherformoflife?CanitbethatIamlosingreasonandcouragetogether?...orwhatisthisterriblemisgivingthatistakingpossessionofme?...Ibegintofalter...astrangesenseofhorroriscreepingoverme...Ihavenomorephysicalpain,butsomethingworsethanpainoppressesme...afeelingthatIcannotdefine.Iamdying...dying!Irepeatthistomyselfforcomfort,...inalittlewhileIshallbedeafandblindandunconscious,...whythenisthesilencearoundmenowbrokenthroughbysound?IlistenandIheardistinctlytheclamourofwildvoicesmingledwithasullenjarandrollasofdistantthunder!...Mymotherstandsclosertome,...sheisstretchingoutherhandtotouchmine!

           ··········OhGod!...

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