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Chapter 35

           ShehadherdoctorsandnursesIhadmygovernessstillwithme;andmymother’ssister,AuntCharlotte,cametokeephouseforussoIbegantoanalysesocietyformyself,withoutgivinganyexpressionofmyopinionsonwhatIobserved.Iwasnotyet‘out,’butIwenteverywherewheregirlsofmyagewereinvited,andperceivedthingswithoutshowingthatIhadanyfacultyofperception.Icultivatedapassionlessandcoldexterioralistless,uninterestedandfrigiddemeanorforIdiscoveredthatthiswasacceptedbymanypeopleasdullnessorstupidity,andthatbyassumingsuchacharacter,certainotherwisecraftypersonswouldtalkmorereadilybeforeme,andbetraythemselvesandtheirvicesunawares.Thusmy‘socialeducation’beganingrimearnest;womenoftitleandrenownwouldaskmetotheir‘quietteas,’becauseIwaswhattheywerepleasedtocalla‘harmlessgirl—’‘ratherpretty,butdull,’—andallowmetoassisttheminentertainingtheloverswhocalleduponthemwhiletheirhusbandswereout.Irememberthatononeoccasion,agreatladyfamousfortwothings,herdiamondsandherintimacywiththeQueen,kissedher‘cavaliereservente,’anotedsportingearl,withconsiderableabandoninmypresence.HemutteredsomethingaboutmeIheardit;buthisamorousmistressmerelyansweredinawhisper—"Oh,it’sonlySibylEltonsheunderstandsnothing.

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