Если я останусь

           Itwasahugebreakforthem.Forasecond,IwonderiftherestofthebandwillgoonwithoutAdam.Ihighlydoubtit,though.It’snotjustthatheistheleadsingerandtheleadguitarplayer.Thebandhasthiskindofcode.Loyaltytofeelingsisimportant.Lastsummer,whenLizandSarahbrokeup(forwhatturnedouttobeallofamonth)andLizwastoodistraughttoplay,theycanceledtheirfive-nighttour,eventhoughthisguyGordonwhoplaysdrumsinanotherbandofferedtosubforher.

           IwatchAdammakehiswaytothehospital’smainentrance,Kimtrailingbehindhim.Justbeforehecomestothecoveredawningandtheautomaticdoors,helooksupintothesky.HeiswaitingforKimbutIalsoliketothinkhe’slookingforme.Hisface,illuminatedbythelights,isblank,likesomeonevacuumedawayallhispersonality,leavingonlyamask.Hedoesn’tlooklikehim.Butatleasthe’snotcrying.

           Thatgivesmethegutstogotohimnow.Orrathertome,totheICU,whichiswhereIknowhewillwanttogo.AdamknowsGranandGrampsandthecousins,andIimaginehe’lljointhewaiting-roomvigillater.Butrightnowhe’shereforme.

           BackintheICUtimestandsstillasalways.Oneofthesurgeonswhoworkedonmeearlier—theonewhosweatedalotand,whenitwashisturntopickthemusic,blastedWeezer—ischeckinginonme.

           Thelightisdimandartificialandkepttothesamelevelallthetime,butevenso,thecircadianrhythmswinoutandanighttimehushhasfallenovertheplace.