Если я останусь
7:16 A.M.
WhenhesaysTeddy,hisvoicecracksandanavalancheoftearstumblesdownhisface.AndIthink:Iloveyou.
Ihearhimtakegulpfulsofairtosteadyhimself.Andthenhecontinues:"AllIcanthinkaboutishowf**kedupitwouldbeforyourlifetoendhere,now.Imean,Iknowthatyourlifeisf**kedupnomatterwhatnow,forever.AndI’mnotdumbenoughtothinkthatIcanundothat,thatanyonecan.ButIcan’twrapmymindaroundthenotionofyounotgettingold,havingkids,goingtoJuilliard,gettingtoplaythatcelloinfrontofahugeaudience,sothattheycangetthechillsthewayIdoeverytimeIseeyoupickupyourbow,everytimeIseeyousmileatme.
"Ifyoustay,I’lldowhateveryouwant.I’llquittheband,gowithyoutoNewYork.Butifyouneedmetogoaway,I’lldothat,too.IwastalkingtoLizandshesaidmaybecomingbacktoyouroldlifewouldjustbetoopainful,thatmaybeit’dbeeasierforyoutoeraseus.Andthatwouldsuck,butI’ddoit.IcanloseyoulikethatifIdon’tloseyoutoday.I’llletyougo.Ifyoustay."
ThenitisAdamwholetsgo.Hissobsburstlikefistspoundingagainsttenderflesh.
Iclosemyeyes.Icovermyears.Icannotwatchthis.Icannothearthis.
Butthen,itisnolongerAdamthatIhear.It’sthatsound,thelowmoanthatinaninstanttakesflightandturnsintosomethingsweet.It’sthecello.AdamhasplacedheadphonesovermylifelessearsandislayinganiPoddownonmychest.
