Если я останусь
2:48 A.M.
Hestops,clearshisthroat,takesabreath,andcontinues."Butthat’swhatIwantandIcouldseewhyitmightnotbewhatyouwant.SoIjustwantedtotellyouthatIunderstandifyougo.It’sokayifyouhavetoleaveus.It’sokayifyouwanttostopfighting."
ForthefirsttimesinceIrealizedthatTeddywasgone,too,Ifeelsomethingunclench.Ifeelmyselfbreathe.IknowthatGrampscan’tbethatlate-inningpinchhitterI’dhopedfor.Hewon’tunplugmybreathingtubeoroverdosemewithmorph**eoranythinglikethat.ButthisisthefirsttimetodaythatanyonehasacknowledgedwhatIhavelost.IknowthatthesocialworkerwarnedGranandGrampsnottoupsetme,butGramps’srecognition,andthepermissionhejustofferedme—itfeelslikeagift.
Grampsdoesn’tleaveme.Heslumpsbackintothechair.It’squietnow.Soquietthatyoucanalmosthearotherpeople’sdreams.SoquietthatyoucanalmosthearmetellGramps,"Thankyou."
WhenMomhadTeddy,Dadwasstillplayingdrumsinthesamebandhe’dbeeninsincecollege.They’dreleasedacoupleofCDs;they’dgoneonatoureverysummer.Thebandwasbynomeansbig,buttheyhadafollowingintheNorthwestandinvariouscollegetownsbetweenhereandChicago.And,weirdly,theyhadabunchoffansinJapan.ThebandwasalwaysgettinglettersfromJapaneseteenagersbeggingthemtocomeplay,andofferinguptheirhomesascrashpads.Dadwasalwayssayingthatiftheywent,he’dtakemeandMom.MomandIevenlearnedafewwordsofJapanesejustincase.
