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Experiments in Convalescence
"WhatamIfor?Topropagatetherace?AccordingtotheAmericannovelsweareledtobelievethatthe’healthyAmericanboy’fromnineteentotwenty-fiveisanentirelysexlessanimal.Asamatteroffact,thehealthierheisthelessthat’strue.Theonlyalternativetolettingitgetyouissomeviolentinterest.Well,thewarisover;Ibelievetoomuchintheresponsibilitiesofauthorshiptowritejustnow;andbusiness,well,businessspeaksforitself.IthasnoconnectionwithanythingintheworldthatI’veeverbeeninterestedin,exceptaslim,utilitarianconnectionwitheconomics.WhatI’dseeofit,lostinaclerkship,forthenextandbesttenyearsofmylifewouldhavetheintellectualcontentofanindustrialmovie."
"Tryfiction,"suggestedTom.
"TroubleisIgetdistractedwhenIstarttowritestories—getafraidI’mdoingitinsteadofliving—getthinkingmaybelifeiswaitingformeintheJapanesegardensattheRitzoratAtlanticCityoronthelowerEastSide.
"Anyway,"hecontinued,"Ihaven’tthevitalurge.Iwantedtobearegularhumanbeingbutthegirlcouldn’tseeitthatway."
"You’llfindanother."
"God!Banishthethought.Whydon’tyoutellmethat’ifthegirlhadbeenworthhavingshe’dhavewaitedforyou’?No,sir,thegirlreallyworthhavingwon’twaitforanybody.IfIthoughtthere’dbeanotherI’dlosemyremainingfaithinhumannature.MaybeI’llplay—butRosalindwastheonlygirlinthewideworldthatcouldhaveheldme."
