Мартин Иден

Chapter 2

           Hewasoppressedthroughoutthemealbythethoughtoffinger-bowls. Irrelevantly,insistently,scoresoftimes,hewonderedwhentheywouldcomeonandwhattheylookedlike. Hehadheardofsuchthings, andnow,soonerorlater,somewhereinthenextfewminutes,hewouldseethem,sitattablewithexaltedbeingswhousedthemay,andhewouldusethemhimself. Andmostimportantofall,fardownandyetalwaysatthesurfaceofhisthought,wastheproblemofhowheshouldcomporthimselftowardthesepersons. Whatshouldhisattitudebe? Hewrestledcontinuallyandanxiouslywiththeproblem. Therewerecowardlysuggestionsthatheshouldmakebelieve,assumeapart; andtherewerestillmorecowardlysuggestionsthatwarnedhimhewouldfailinsuchcourse, thathisnaturewasnotfittedtoliveuptoit,andthathewouldmakeafoolofhimself. 

           Itwasduringthefirstpartofthedinner,strugglingtodecideuponhisattitude,thathewasveryquiet. HedidnotknowthathisquietnesswasgivingthelietoArthur’swordsofthedaybefore,whenthatbrotherofhershadannouncedthathewasgoingtobringawildmanhometodinner andforthemnottobealarmed,becausetheywouldfindhimaninterestingwildman. MartinEdencouldnothavefounditinhim,justthen,tobelievethatherbrothercouldbeguiltyofsuchtreachery especiallywhenhehadbeenthemeansofgettingthisparticularbrotheroutofanunpleasantrow. Sohesatattable,perturbedbyhisownunfitnessandatthesametimecharmedbyallthatwentonabouthim. Forthefirsttimeherealizedthateatingwassomethingmorethanautilitarianfunction. Hewasunawareofwhatheate. Itwasmerelyfood. Hewasfeastinghisloveofbeautyatthistablewhereeatingwasanaestheticfunction. Itwasanintellectualfunction,too. Hismindwasstirred. 

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