Над пропастью во ржи

           Then,whenIheardtheelevatordoorsshut,Iturnedaroundandwentovertoourside.Iwasdoingallright.Ididn’tevenfeeldrunkanymore.ThenItookoutmydoorkeyandopenedourdoor,quietashell.Then,very,verycarefullyandall,Iwentinsideandclosedthedoor.Ireallyshould’vebeenacrook.

           Itwasdarkashellinthefoyer,naturally,andnaturallyIcouldn’tturnonanylights.Ihadtobecarefulnottobumpintoanythingandmakearacket.IcertainlyknewIwashome,though.Ourfoyerhasafunnysmellthatdoesn’tsmelllikeanyplaceelse.Idon’tknowwhatthehellitis.Itisn’tcaulifloweranditisn’tperfume—Idon’tknowwhatthehellitis—butyoualwaysknowyou’rehome.Istartedtotakeoffmycoatandhangitupinthefoyercloset,butthatcloset’sfullofhangersthatrattlelikemadmenwhenyouopenthedoor,soIleftiton.ThenIstartedwalkingvery,veryslowlybacktowardoldPhoebe’sroom.Iknewthemaidwouldn’thearmebecauseshehadonlyoneeardrum.Shehadthisbrotherthatstuckastrawdownherearwhenshewasakid,sheoncetoldme.Shewasprettydeafandall.Butmyparents,especiallymymother,shehasearslikeagoddambloodhound.SoItookitvery,veryeasywhenIwentpasttheirdoor.Ievenheldmybreath,forGod’ssake.Youcanhitmyfatherovertheheadwithachairandhewon’twakeup,butmymother,allyouhavetodotomymotheriscoughsomewhereinSiberiaandshe’llhearyou.She’snervousashell.Halfthetimeshe’supallnightsmokingcigarettes.

           Finally,afteraboutanhour,IgottooldPhoebe’sroom.Shewasn’tthere,though.Iforgotaboutthat.IforgotshealwayssleepsinD.B.’sroomwhenhe’sawayinHollywoodorsomeplace.Shelikesitbecauseit’sthebiggestroominthehouse.