Грань будущего
Chapter 8
Andwhateversituationyou’rein,that’sjustanotherfactorinyourdecision.Whichisn’ttosayeverybodygetsthesamerangeofchoicesaseverybodyelse.Ifthere’soneguyouttherewithanaceinthehole,there’ssuretobeanotherwho’sbeendealtahandfulofshit.Sometimesyourunintoadeadend.Butyouwalkedeachstepoftheroadthatledyouthereonyourown.Evenwhentheystringyouuponthegallows,youhavethechoicetomeetyourdeathwithdignityorgokickingandscreamingintothehereafter.
ButIdidn’tgetthatchoice.TherecouldbeagiantwaterfalljustbeyondTateyama,theedgeofthewholedamnworld,andI’dneverknowit.DayafterdayIgobackandforthbetweenthebaseandthebattlefield,whereI’msquashedlikeabugcrawlingontheground.Solongasthewindblows,I’mbornagain,andIdie.Ican’ttakeanythingwithmetomynextlife.TheonlythingsIgettokeeparemysolitude,afearthatnoonecanunderstand,andthefeelofthetriggeragainstmyfinger.
It’safucked-upworld,withfucked-uprules.Sofuckit.
Itookapenfrombesidemypillowandwrotethenumber"5"onthebackofmylefthand.Mybattlebeginswiththisnumber.
Let’sseehowmuchIcantakewithme.Sowhatiftheworldhandsmeapileofshit?I’llcombthroughitforthecorn.I’lldodgeenemybulletsbyahair’sbreadth.I’llslaughterMimicswithasingleblow.IfRitaVrataskiisagoddessonthebattlefield,I’llwatchandlearnuntilIcanmatchherkillforkill.Ihaveallthetimeintheworld
