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           Idon’twantto,ever.NotthatIhaven’tthoughtaboutit,orwantedawifeandchildren.Ihave.ButIcan’t.Becausethereisn’tenoughroomtolovethemandGodaswell,notthewayIwanttoloveGod.I’veknownthatforalongtime.Idon’tseemtorememberatimewhenIdidn’t,andtheolderIbecomethegreatermyloveforGodgrows.It’sagreatmystery,lovingGod."

           Meggielaylookingintothosecalm,distantblueeyes.Ralph’seyes,astheyusedtobe.ButablazewithsomethingquitealientoRalph’s.Hadhehadit,ateighteen?Hadhe?Wasitperhapssomethingonecouldonlyexperienceateighteen?BythetimesheenteredRalph’slife,hewastenyearsbeyondthat.Yethersonwasamystic,shehadalwaysknownit.Andshedidn’tthinkthatatanystageofhislifeRalphhadbeenmysticallyinclined.Sheswallowed,wrappedtherobecloseraboutherlonelybones.

           "SoIaskedmyself,"Danewenton,"whatIcoulddotoshowHimhowmuchIlovedHim.Ifoughttheanswerforalongtime,Ididn’twanttoseeit.BecauseIwantedalifeasaman,too,verymuch.YetIknewwhattheofferinghadtobe,Iknew…There’sonlyonethingIcanofferHim,toshowHimnothingelsewilleverexistinmyheartbeforeHim.ImustofferupHisonlyrival;that’sthesacrificeHedemandsofme.IamHisservant,andHewillhavenorivals.Ihavehadtochoose.AllthingsHe’llletmehaveandenjoy,savethat."Hesighed,pluckedatabladeofDroghedagrass."ImustshowHimthatIunderstandwhyHegavemesomuchatmybirth.