Мхи старой усадьбы

           Thereitstood,poordevilofacontrivancethatitwas!—withonlythethinnestvestureofhumansimilitudeaboutit,throughwhichwasevidentthestiff,rickety,incongruous,faded,tattered,good-for-nothingpatchworkofitssubstance,readytosinkinaheapuponthefloor,asconsciousofitsownunworthinesstobeerect.ShallIconfessthetruth?Atitspresentpointofvivification,thescarecrowremindsmeofsomeofthelukewarmandabortivecharacters,composedofheterogeneousmaterials,usedforthethousandthtime,andneverworthusing,withwhichromancewriters(andmyself,nodoubt,amongtherest)havesooverpeopledtheworldoffiction.

           Butthefierceoldhagbegantogetangryandshowaglimpseofherdiabolicnature(likeasnake’shead,peepingwithahissoutofherbosom),atthispusillanimousbehaviorofthethingwhichshehadtakenthetroubletoputtogether.

           "Puffaway,wretch!"criedshe,wrathfully."Puff,puff,puff,thouthingofstrawandemptiness!thouragortwo!thoumealbag!thoupumpkinhead!thounothing!WhereshallIfindanamevileenoughtocalltheeby?Puff,Isay,andsuckinthyfantasticlifewiththesmoke!elseIsnatchthepipefromthymouthandhurltheewherethatredcoalcamefrom."

           Thusthreatened,theunhappyscarecrowhadnothingforitbuttopuffawayfordearlife.Asneedwas,therefore,itapplieditselflustilytothepipe,andsentforthsuchabundantvolleysoftobaccosmokethatthesmallcottagekitchenbecameallvaporous.