Дни грёз
Dies Irae
Thispleasantconceitsimplyravishedmysoulforsometwentyminutes,andthentheoldsenseofinjurybegantowellupafresh,andtocallfornewplastersandsoothingsyrups.ThistimeItookrefugeinhappythoughtsofthesea.Theseawasmyrealsphere,afterall.Onthesea,inespecial,youcouldcombinedistinctionwithlawlessness,whereasthearmyseemedtobealwaysweightedbyacertainploddingsubmissiontodiscipline.Tobesure,byallaccounts,thelifewasatfirstaroughone.ButjustthenIwantedtosufferkeenly;Iwantedtobeapoordevilofacabinboy,kicked,beaten,andswornat—foratime.Perhapssomehint,someinklingofmysufferingsmightreachtheirears.Induecoursetheslooporfeluccawouldturnup—italwaysdid—therakish-lookingcraft,blackofhull,lowinthewater,andbristlingwithguns;thejollyRogerflappingoverhead,andmyselfforsolecommander.Byandby,asusuallyhappened,anEastIndiamanwouldcomesailingalongfullofrelations—notanecessaryrelationwouldbemissing.Andthecrewshouldwalktheplank,andthecaptainshoulddancefromhisownyardarm,andthenIwouldtakethepassengersinhand—thatmiserablegroupofwell-knownfigurescoweringonthequarter-deck!—andthen—andthenthesameoldperformance:theairthickwithmagnanimity.Inalltherepertoryofheroes,noneismoretrulymagnanimousthanyourpiratechief.