Грань будущего

           That’dI’dbeperformingthevitaltaskofdefendingthecitieswherepeopleworkedandlived.

           ButIdidn’twanttofighttheMimicstosavehumanity.I’dseenmyfillofthatinthemovies.IcouldsearchmysoultillmybodyfelltodustarounditandI’dneverfindthedesiretodogreatthingslikesavingthehumanrace.WhatIfoundinsteadwasawirepuzzleyoucouldn’tsolvenomatterhowmanytimesyoutried.Somethingburiedunderapileofpuzzlepiecesthatdidn’tfit.Itpissedmeoff.

           Iwasweak.Icouldn’tevengetthewomanIloved-thelibrarian-tolookmeintheeye.Ithoughttheirresistibletideofwarwouldchangeme,forgemeintosomethingthatworked.ImayhavefooledmyselfintobelievingI’dfindthelastpieceofthepuzzleIneededtocompleteKeijiKiriyaonthebattlefield.ButIneverwantedtobeahero,lovedbymillions.Notforaminute.IfIcouldconvincethefewfriendsIhadthatIwassomeonewhocoulddosomethinginthisworld,whocouldleaveamark,nomatterhowsmall,thatwouldbeenough.

           Andlookwherethatgotme.

           Whathadhalfayearoftrainingdoneforme?Inowpossessedahandfulofskillsthatweren’tgoodforshitinarealbattleandsix-packabs.Iwasstillweak,andtheworldwasstillfucked.Mom,Dad,I’msorry.Ittookmethislongtorealizetheobvious.IronicthatIhadtorunawayfromthearmybeforeIfigureditout.

           Thebeachwasdeserted.TheCoastGuardmusthavebeenbusyevacuatingthisplaceoverthepastsixmonths.