Стража! Стража!

           Ihavebeengivensomechainmail.Itisrustyandnotwellmade.

           Theygiveyoumoneyforbeingaguard.Itis,20dollarsamonth.WhenIgetitIwillsendyouit.

           IhopeyouareallwellandthatShaft#5isnowopen.ThisafternoonIwillgoandlookattheThieves’Guild.Itisdisgraceful.IfIdosomethingaboutit,itwillbeaFeatherinmyCap.IamgettingtheHangofhowtheytalkherealready.Yourlovingson,Carrot.

           PS.PleasegiveallmylovetoMinty.Ireallymissher.

           ...

           LordVetinari,thePatricianofAnkh-Morpork,puthishandoverhiseyes.

           "Hedidwhat?"

           "Iwasmarchedthroughthestreets,"saidUrdovanPew,currentlyPresidentoftheGuildofThieves,BurglarsandAlliedTrades."Inbroaddaylight!Withmyhandstiedtogether!"HetookafewstepstowardsthePatrician’sseverechairofoffice,wavingafinger.

           "YouknowverywellthatwehavekeptwithintheBudget,"hesaid."Tobehumiliatedlikethat!Likeacommoncriminal!Therehadbetterbeafullapology,"hesaid,"oryouwillhaveanotherstrikeonyourhands.Wewillbedriventoit,despiteournaturalcivicresponsibilities,"headded.

           Itwasthefinger.Thefingerwasamistake.ThePatricianwasstaringcoldlyatthefinger.VanPewfollowedhisgaze,andquicklyloweredthedigit.ThePatricianwasnotamanyoushookafingeratunlessyouwantedtoendupbeingabletocountonlytonine.