Стража! Стража!

           Hedrummedhisfingersonthetable.

           "Isthatallhegot?"saidNobby."Ithoughtofficerswererollinginit."

           "Ninedollarsamonth,"saidColon."Isawthepayscalesonce.Ninedollarsamonthandtwodollarsplumesallowance.Onlyheneverclaimedthatbit.Funny,really."

           "Hewasn’ttheplumestype,"saidNobby.

           "You’reright,"saidColon."Thethingaboutthecaptain,see,Ireadthisbookonce...youknowwe’veallgotalcoholinourbodies...sortofnaturalalcohol?Evenifyounevertouchadropinyourlife,yourbodysortofmakesitanyway...butCaptainVimes,see,he’soneofthosepeoplewhosebodydoesn’tdoitnaturally.Like,hewasborntwodrinksbelownormal."

           "Gosh,"saidCarrot.

           "Yes...so,whenhe’ssober,he’sreallysober.Knurd,theycallit.Youknowhowyoufeelwhenyouwakeupifyou’vebeenonthepissallnight,Nobby?Well,hefeelslikethatallthetime."

           "Poorbugger,"saidNobby."Ineverrealised.Nowonderhe’salwayssogloomy."

           "Sohe’salwaystryingtocatchup,see.It’sjustthathedoesn’talwaysgetthedoseright.And,ofcourse-"ColonglancedatCarrot-"hewasbrunglowbyawoman.Mindyou,justaboutanythingbringshimlow."

           "Sowhatdowedonow,Sergeant?"saidNobby.

           "Anddoyouthinkhe’dmindifweeathiscake?"saidCarrotwistfully."It’dbeashametoletitgostale."

           Colonshrugged.

           TheoldermensatinmiserablesilenceasCarrotmaceratedhiswaythroughthecakelikeabucket-wheelrockcrusherinachalkpit.