Стража! Стража!

           It’sjustmenpaintin’picturesofyoungwimmininthenudd.Thealtogether,"explainedColontheconnoisseur."Thecaretakertoldme.Someofthemdon’tevenhaveanypaintontheirbrushes,youknow.Shameful."

           Theremustbeamillionstoriesinthenakedcity,thoughtVimes.SowhydoIalwayshavetolistentooneslikethese?

           "Whendotheymeet?"hesaid.

           "Mondays,7.30,admissiontenpence,"saidColon,promptly."Asforthefolk-dancepeople-well,noproblemthere.YouknowyoualwayswonderedwhatCorporalNobbsdoesonhiseveningsoff?"

           Colon’sfacesplitintoawatermelongrin.

           "No!"saidVimesincredulously."NotNobby?"

           "Yep!"saidColon,delightedattheresult.

           "What,jumpingaboutwithbellsonandwavinghishankyintheair?"

           "Hesaysitisimportanttopreserveoldfolkways,"saidColon.

           "Nobby?MrSteel-toecaps-in-the-groin,I-was-just-checking-the-doorhandle-and-it-opened-all-by-itself?"

           "Yeah!Funnyoldworld,ain’tit?Hewasverybashfulaboutit."

           "Goodgrief,"saidVimes.

           "Itjustgoestoshow,younevercantell,"saidColon."Anyway,thecaretakersaidtheElucidatedBrethrenalwaysleavetheplaceinamess.Scuffedchalkmarksonthefloor,hesaid.Andtheyneverputthechairsbackproperlyorwashouttheteaurn.They’vebeenmeetingalotlately,hesaid.Thenuddywimminpaintershadtomeetsomewhereelselastweek."

           "Whatdidyoudowithoursuspect?"saidVimes.

           "Him?Oh,hedonearunner,Captain,"saidthesergeant,lookingembarrassed.