Стража! Стража!

           PlaceslikeNewOrleansandRioreckontheynotonlyknowhowtopushtheboatoutbutsetfiretotheharbouraswell;butcomparedtoAnkh-Morporkwithitshairdownthey’reaWelshvillageat2p.m.onawetSundayafternoon.

           FireworksbangedandsparkledinthedampairovertheturbidmudoftheriverAnkh.Variousdomesticatedanimalswerebeingroastedinthestreets.Dancersconga’dfromhousetohouse,oftenmanagingtopickupanylooseornamentswhiledoingso.Therewasalotofquaffinggoingon.Peoplewhoinnormalcircumstanceswouldneverthinkofdoingitwereshouting"Hurrah".

           Vimesstalkedgloomilythroughthecrowdedstreets,feelingliketheonlypickledonioninafruitsalad.He’dgiventheranktheeveningoff.

           Hewasn’tfeelingatallroyalist.Hedidn’tthinkhehadanythingagainstkingsassuch,butthesightofAnkh-Morporkianswavingflagswasmysteriouslyupsetting.Thatwassomethingonlysillysubjectpeopledid,inothercountries.Besides,theideaofroyalplumesinhishatrevoltedhim.He’dalwayshadathingaboutplumes.Plumessortof,well,boughtyouoff,

           toldeveryonethatyoudidn’tbelongtoyourself.Andhe’dfeellikeabird.It’dbethelaststraw.

           HiserrantfeetledhimbacktotheYard.Afterall,whereelsewasthere?Hislodgingsweredepressingandhislandladyhadcomplainedabouttheholeswhich,despitemuchshouting,Errolkeptmakinginthecarpet.AndthesmellErrolmade.