Стража! Стража!

           Hedoesn’tseemtohaveworkedoutwhathisflameductsareforyet,"saidLadyRamkin.

           "Youcan’tteachhimanythingaboutrelaxing,though,"saidVimes."Anyway,men..."

           "Oook."

           "Iwasn’ttalkingtoyou,sir.What’sthisdoinghere?"

           "Er,"saidSergeantColonhurriedly,"I,er...withyoubeingawayandall,anduslikelytobeshort-handed...Carrotheresaysit’sallaccordingtothelawandthat...Isworehimin,sir.Theape,sir."

           "Sworehiminwhat,Sergeant?"saidVimes.

           "AsSpecialConstable,sir,"saidColon,blushing."Youknow,sir.Sortofcitizen’sWatch."

           Vimesthrewuphishands."Special?Bloody’unique!"

           TheLibrariangaveVimesabigsmile.

           "Justtemporarily,sir.Fortheduration,like,"saidColonpleadingly."Wecoulddowiththehelp,sir,and...well,he’stheonlyonewhoseemstolikeus..."

           "Ithinkit’safrightfullygoodidea,"saidLadyRamkin."Welldone,thatape."

           Vimesshrugged.Theworldwasmadenoughalready,whatcouldmakeitworse?

           "Okay,"hesaid."Okay!Igivein.Fine!Givehimabadge,althoughI’mdamnedifIknowwherehe’llwearit!Fine!Yes!Whynot?"

           "Youallright,Captain?"saidColon,allconcern.

           "Fine!Fine!WelcometothenewWatch!"snappedVimes,stridingvaguelyaroundtheroom."Great!Afterall,wepaypeanuts,don’twe,sowemightaswellemploymon-"

           Thesergeant’shandslappedrespectfullyacrossVimes’smouth.

           "Er,justonething,Captain,"saidColonurgently,toVimes’sastonishedeyes.