Стража! Стража!

           "Andwhat’sfiftythousanddollarsthesedays?Youspendthatmuchinnets."

           "S’right,"saidanother."Peoplethinkit’safortune,buttheydon’treckonon,well,it’snotpensionable,there’sallthemedicalexpenses,you’vegottobuyandmaintainyourowngear-"

           "-wearandtearonvirgins-"noddedasmallfathunter.

           "Yeah,andthenthere’s...what?"

           "Myspecialityisunicorns,"thehunterexplained,withanembarrassedsmile.

           "Oh,right."Thefirstspeakerlookedlikesomeonewho’dalwaysbeendyingtoaskthequestion."Ithoughttheywereveryrarethesedays."

           "You’rerightthere.Youdon’tseemanyunicorns,either,"saidtheunicornhunter.Vimesgottheimpressionthat,inhiswholelife,thiswashisonlyjoke.

           "Yeah,well.Timesarehard,"saidthefirstspeakersharply.

           "Monstersaregettingmoreuppity,too,"saidanother."Iheardwherethisguy,hekilledthismonsterinthislake,noproblem,stuckitsarmupoverthedoor-"

           "Pourencourjaylaysortras,"saidoneofthelisteners.

           "Right,andyouknowwhat?Itsmumcomeandcomplained.Itsactualmumcomerightdowntothehallnextdayandcomplained.Actuallycomplained.That’stherespectyouget."

           "Thefemalesarealwaystheworst,"saidanotherhuntergloomily."Iknewthiscross-eyedgorgononce,oh,shewasaterror.Keptturningherownnosetostone."

           "It’sourarsesonthelineeverytime,"saidtheintellectual."Imean,IwishIhadadollarforeveryhorseI’vehadeatenoutfromunderneathme."