Стража! Стража!

           Vimes’sraggedforebearswereusedtovoiceslikethat,usuallyfromheavily-armouredpeopleonthebackofawarchargertellingthemwhyitwouldbeajollygoodidea,don’tcherknow,tochargetheenemyandhitthemforsix.Hislegswantedtostandtoattention.

           Prehistoricmenwouldhaveworshippedher,andinfacthadamazinglymanagedtocarvelifelikestatuesofherthousandsofyearsago.Shehadamassofchestnuthair;awig,Vimeslearnedlater.No-onewhohadmuchtodowithdragonskepttheirownhairforlong.

           Shealsohadadragononhershoulder.IthadbeenintroducedasTalonthrustVincentWonderkindofQuirm,referredtoasVinny,andseemedtobemakingalargecontributiontotheunusualchemicalsmellthatpervadedthehouse.Thissmellpermeatedeverything.Eventhegeneroussliceofcakesheofferedhimtastedofit.

           "The,er,shoulder...itlooks...verynice,"hesaid,desperatetomakeconversation.

           "Rubbish,"saidherladyship."I’mjusttraininghimupbecauseshoulder-sittersfetchtwicetheprice."

           Vimesmurmuredthathehadoccasionallyseensocietyladieswithsmall,colourfuldragonsontheirshoulders,andthoughtitlookedvery,er,nice.

           "Oh,itsoundsnice,"shesaid."I’llgrantyou.Thentheyrealiseitmeanssootburns,frizzledhairandcrapalldowntheirback.Thosetalonsdigin,too.