Стража! Стража!

           Whenhewasalonehestoodandlookedoutgloomilyoverthetwincity.Itwasdrizzlingagain.

           Ankh-Morpork!Brawlingcityofahundredthousandsouls!And,asthePatricianprivatelyobserved,tentimesthatnumberofactualpeople.Thefreshrainglistenedonthepanoramaoftowersandrooftops,allunawareoftheteeming,rancorousworlditwasdroppinginto.Luckierrainfellonuplandsheep,orwhisperedgentlyoverforests,orpatternedsomewhatincestuouslyintothesea.RainthatfellonAnkh-Morpork,though,wasrainthatwasintrouble.Theydidterriblethingstowater,inAnkh-Morpork.Beingdrunkwasonlythestartofitsproblems.

           ThePatricianlikedtofeelthathewaslookingoutoveracitythatworked.Notabeautifulcity,orarenownedcity,orawell-drainedcity,andcertainlynotanarchitecturallyfavouredcity;evenitsmostenthusiasticcitizenswouldagreethat,fromahighpointofvantage,Ankh-Morporklookedasthoughsomeonehadtriedtoachieveinstoneandwoodaneffectnormallyassociatedwiththepavementsoutsideall-nighttakeaways.

           Butitworked.Itspunalongcheerfullylikeagyroscopeonthelipofacatastrophecurve.Andthis,thePatricianfirmlybelieved,wasbecausenoonegroupwaseverpowerfulenoughtopushitover.Merchants,thieves,assassins,wizards-allcompetedenergeticallyintheracewithoutreallyrealisingthatitneedn’tbearaceatall,andcertainlynottrustingoneanotherenoughtostopandwonderwhohadmarkedoutthecourseandwasholdingthestartingflag.