Чума
Part V
Butifthatiswhatitmeanttowinthegame,howharditmustbetoliveonlywithwhatoneknowsandwhatoneremembers,anddeprivedofwhatonehopes.ThiswasnodoubthowTarrouhadlivedandhewasawareofthesterilityofalifewithoutillusions.ThereisnopeacewithouthopeandTarrou,whodeniedmentherighttocondemnanyone,yetwhoknewthatnoonecanpreventhimselffromcondemningandthatevenvictimscansometimesbeexecutioners—Tarrouhadlivedinastateofturmoilandcontradiction,andhehadneverknownhope.Isthiswhyhelongedforsainthoodandsoughtpeaceintheserviceofmen?Intruth,Rieuxdidnotknowanditwashardlyimportant.TheonlyimagesofTarrouthathewouldkeepwerethoseofamanwhotookthewheelofhiscarinbothhandstodriveandthoseofhisthickbody,nowlyingmotionless.Awarmthoflifeandanimageofdeath:thatwasknowledge.
ThisnodoubtiswhyDrRieuxfeltcalmwhenthenextmorninghereceivednewsofthedeathofhiswife.Hewasinhisconsulting-room.Hismotherhadarrivedalmostataruntobringhimatelegram,thenwentbacktogiveatiptothemessengerboy.Whenshereturnedhersonwasholdingthetelegramopeninhishand.Shelookedathim,buthepersistedinstaringoutofthewindowatamagnificentnewdayrisingovertheport.
"Bernard,"saidMmeRieux.
Thedoctorlookedatherabsent-mindedly.
"Thetelegram?"sheasked.
"That’sright,"heacknowledged."Aweekago.
