Чума
Part IV
Tarrouspokeforalongtime;hereismoreorlesswhathesaid:
"Tosimplifythings,Rieux,let’ssaythatIwasalreadysufferingfromtheplaguelongbeforeIknewthistownandthisepidemic.AllthatmeansisthatIamlikeeverybodyelse.Buttherearepeoplewhodonotknowthisorwhoarehappyinthisstate,andpeoplewhoknowitandwouldliketoescape.Ihavealwayswantedtoescape.
"WhenIwasyoung,Ilivedwiththeideaofmyowninnocence,thatistosaywithnoideaatall.I’mnottheworryingtype,Istartedoffproperly.Everythingwentwellforme,Iwasateaseinmyownmind,verysuccessfulwithwomen,andifIdidhaveanyanxieties,theyvanishedastheyhadcome.Oneday,Istartedtoreflect.Andnow…
"IhavetotellyouthatIwasnotpoorlikeyouwere.Myfatherwasaprosecutingcounsel,whichisanimportantjob.However,hedidnotlooklikeaprosecutor,beingagood-naturedsort.Mymotherwasordinaryandself-effacing.Ihaveneverceasedtoloveher,butIprefernottospeakabouther.MyfatherlookedaftermeaffectionatelyandIbelieveheeventriedtounderstandme.Iamsurenowthatheusedtohaveaffairs,butitreallydoesn’tupsetme.Inallsuchthingshebehavedashemighthavebeenexpectedtobehave,withoutshockinganybody.Inbrief,therewasnothingespeciallyunusualabouthimand,nowthatheisdead,Irealizethatwhilehedidnotlivelikeasaint,hewasnotabadman.
