Чума
Part IV
HewouldimmediatelybringtheconversationbacktothesmalldetailsofOranlifethatusuallyoccupiedhisattention.
AsforCastel,onthedaywhenhecametotellthedoctorthattheserumwasready,andaftertheyhaddecidedtomakethefirsttrialsonM.Othon’slittleboywhohadjustbeenbroughttothehospitalandwhosecaseseemedtoRieuxhopeless,thedoctorwasjusttellinghisoldfriendthelateststatisticswhenhenoticedthattheothermanhadfallenfastasleepsunkinthebottomofhischair.Seeingthisfacetowhichusuallyanairofgentlenessandironygavealookofperpetualyouth,nowsuddenlyabandoned,athreadofsalivarunningbetweenthehalf-openlips,revealingtheeffectsofageandwear,Rieuxfeltalumpinhisthroat.
BysuchweaknessesRieuxcouldassesshisownfatigue.Hissensibilitywasgettingoutofhand.Heldbackmostofthetime,hardenedanddriedout,itwouldoccasionallycollapseandabandonhimtofeelingsthathecouldnolongercontrol.Hisonlydefencewastoresorttohardeninghimselfandtighteningtheknotwhichhadformedinhim.Heknewfullwellthatthiswasthecorrectwaytoproceed.Fortherest,hehadfewillusionsandtirednesstookawayeventhosethathestillhad.Heknewthatforaperiodoftime,theendofwhichhecouldnotsee,hisrolewasnolongerthatofahealer;itwasthatofadiagnostician.Discovering,seeing,describing,notingandthencondemning—thatwashistask.
