За разломом орла

           ButIwassorryaboutnotseeingalotofthings.Maybeitwouldbecomeworseinthedaysahead. MaybeIwasjustpostponingabreakdown. 

           Ididn’tthinkso. 

           Inthemeantime,IcontinuedtryingtofindawaytodealwithSuzy. ShehadbecomeapuzzlethatIcouldn’tleaveunsolved. Icouldhavejustwokenherupandletherdealwiththenewsasbestasshecould,butthatseemedcruelandunsatisfactory. Gretahadbrokenittomegently,givingmetimetosettleintomynewsurroundingsandtakethatnecessarystepawayfromKaterina. Whenshefinallybrokethenews,asshockingasitwas,itdidn’tshatterme.I’dalreadybeenprimedforit,thestingtakenoutofthesurprise.SleepingwithGretaobviouslyhelped. Icouldn’tofferSuzythesamesolace,butIwassurethattherewasawayforustocoaxSuzytothesamestateofnear-acceptance. 

           Timeaftertimewewokeherandtriedadifferentapproach. Gretasaidtherewasawindowofafewminutesbeforetheeventsshewasexperiencingbegantotransferintolong-termmemory. Ifweknockedherout,thebufferofmemoriesinshort-termstoragewaswipedbeforeitevercrossedthehippocampusintolong-termrecall. Withinthatwindow,wecouldwakeherupasmanytimesasweliked,tryingendlesspermutationsoftherevivalscenario. 

           AtleastthatwaswhatGretatoldme. 

           "Wecan’tkeepdoingthisindefinitely,"Isaid. 

           "Whynot?" 

           "Isn’tshegoingtoremembersomething?" 

           Gretashrugged. "Maybe.ButIdoubtthatshe’llattachanysignificancetothosememories.