Эпоха невинности
Chapter 20
Hissituation,infact,seemed,materiallyspeaking,nomorebrilliantthanNedWinsett’s;buthehadlivedinaworldinwhich,ashesaid,noonewholovedideasneedhungermentally.AsitwaspreciselyofthatlovethatpoorWinsettwasstarvingtodeath,Archerlookedwithasortofvicariousenvyatthiseagerimpecuniousyoungmanwhohadfaredsorichlyinhispoverty."Yousee,Monsieur,it’swortheverything,isn’tit,tokeepone’sintellectualliberty,nottoenslaveone’spowersofappreciation,one’scriticalindependence?ItwasbecauseofthatthatIabandonedjournalism,andtooktosomuchdullerwork:tutoringandprivatesecretaryship.Thereisagooddealofdrudgery,ofcourse;butonepreservesone’smoralfreedom,whatwecallinFrenchone’squantasoi.Andwhenonehearsgoodtalkonecanjoininitwithoutcompromisinganyopinionsbutone’sown;oronecanlisten,andansweritinwardly.Ah,goodconversation—there’snothinglikeit,isthere?Theairofideasistheonlyairworthbreathing.AndsoIhaveneverregrettedgivingupeitherdiplomacyorjournalism—twodifferentformsofthesameself-abdication."HefixedhisvivideyesonArcherashelitanothercigarette."Voyez-vous,Monsieur,tobeabletolooklifeintheface:that’sworthlivinginagarretfor,isn’tit?But,afterall,onemustearnenoughtopayforthegarret;andIconfessthattogrowoldasaprivatetutor—ora’private’anything—isalmostaschillingtotheimaginationasasecondsecretaryshipatBucharest.SometimesIfeelImustmakeaplunge:animmenseplunge.