Чужак в чужой стране

           Iknowalltoowelltheeffectthatgoddamsupermanhasonwomen."

           "Holdit,son–he’syourwaterbrother."

           Bensaidlevelly,"Iknowit–andIlovehim,too.IfIeverdecidedtogogay,Mikewouldbemyonlychoice.Butthat’sallthemorereasonwhyIunderstandwhytheyaresmug."

           Jubalstaredathisglass."Maybetheyjusthope.Ben,seemstomeyournamecouldbeonthelist,eveneasierthanMike’s.Yes?"

           "Jubal,you’reoutofyourmind!"

           "Takeiteasy.Nobodyistryingtomakeyougetmarried,Ipromiseyou–why,Ihaven’tevenpaintedmyshotgunwhite.WhileIamnotsnoopyandIneverholdabedcheckaroundhereandIreallydo,sohelpmebyalltheBillionNamesofGod,believeinnotpokingmynoseintootherpeople’sbusiness,neverthelesswhileImaybeoutofmymind–a‘leasthypothesis’morethanonce,thelastcoupleofyears–Idohavenormaleyesightandhearing?andifabrassbandparadesthroughmyhome,fortissimo,I’llnoticeiteventually.Question:You’vesleptunderthisroofdozensoftimes.Didyou,onatleastoneofthosenights,sleepalone?"

           "Why,youscoundrel!Uh,IsleptalonetheveryfirstnightIwaseverhere."

           "Dorcasmusthavebeenoffherfeed.No,Iremember,youwereundersedativethatnight.Youweremypatient–doesn’tcount.Someothernight?Justone?"

           "Yourquestionisirrelevant,immaterial,andbeneathmynotice."

           "That’sanadequateanswer,Ithink.Butpleasenotethattheaddedbedroomsareasfarfrommybedroomaspossible.