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Chapter 24

           Buthewasabaldheadedoldcoot,likemyself.Soonedaysomechildrenmadefunofhisbaldness,justasyougirlsdo.SoGodpersonallyintercededandsenttwobearstotearforty-twosmallchildrenintobloodybits.That’swhatitsayssecondchapterofSecondKings."

           "Boss,Inevermakefunofyourbaldhead."

           "Whowasitsentmynametothosehair-restorerquacks?Dorcas,maybe?Whoeveritwas,Godknowsandshehadbetterkeepasharpeyeoutforbears.Imightturnpiousinmydotageandstartenjoyingdivineprotection.ButIshan’tgiveyouanymoresamples.TheBibleisloadedwithsuchstuff;readitandfindout.Crimesthatwouldturnyourstomachareassertedtobeeitherdivinelyorderedordivinelycondoned?alongwith,Imustadd,alotofhardcommonsenseandsomeprettyworkablerulesforsocialbehavior.IamnotrunningdowntheBible;itstacksupprettywellassacredwritingsgo.Itisn’tapatchonthesadistic,pornographictrashthatgoesbythenameofsacredwritingsamongtheHindus.Oradozenotherreligions.ButI’mnotsinglingoutanyofthemforcondemnation,either;itisentirelyconceivablethatsomeoneofthesemutuallycontradictorymythologiesistheliteralwordofGod?thatGodisintruththesortofbloodthirstyparanoidwhowouldrendtobitsforty-twochildrenforthecrimeofsassingoneofhispriests.Don’taskmeabouttheFrontOffice’spolicies;Ijustworkhere.MypointisthatFoster’sNewRevelationthatyou’resocontemptuousofispuresweetness-and-lightasscripturegoes.

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