Если я останусь

           Herscrubshavelollipopsonthem,eventhoughthisisn’tapediatricunit."How’sitgoing,sweetheart?"sheasksme,asifwejustbumpedintoeachotherinthegrocerystore.

           Itdidn’tstartoutsosmoothlywithAdamandme.IthinkIhadthisnotionthatloveconquersall.AndbythetimehedroppedmeofffromtheYo-YoMaconcert,Ithinkwewerebothawarethatwewerefallinginlove.Ithoughtthatgettingtothispartwasthechallenge.Inbooksandmovies,thestoriesalwaysendwhenthetwopeoplefinallyhavetheirromantickiss.Thehappily-ever-afterpartisjustassumed.

           Itdidn’tquiteworkthatwayforus.Itturnedoutthatcomingfromsuchfarcornersofthesocialuniversehaditsdownsides.Wecontinuedtoseeeachotherinthemusicwing,buttheseinteractionsremainedplatonic,asifneitheroneofuswantedtomesswithagoodthing.Butwheneverwemetatotherplacesintheschool—whenwesattogetherinthecafeteriaorstudiedsidebysideonthequadonasunnyday—somethingwasoff.Wewereuncomfortable.Conversationwasstilted.Oneofuswouldsaysomethingandtheotherwouldstarttosaysomethingelseatthesametime.

           "Yougo,"I’dsay.

           "No,yougo,"Adamwouldsay.

           Thepolitenesswaspainful.Iwantedtopushthroughit,toreturntotheglowofthenightoftheconcert,butIwasunsureofhowtogetbackthere.

           Adaminvitedmetoseehisbandplay.Thiswasevenworsethanschool.IfIfeltlikeafishoutofwaterinmyfamily,IfeltlikeafishonMarsinAdam’scircle.