Если я останусь
12:19 P.M.
Once,apairofloonsnestedinthepondinthewoodsbehindtheirhouse.Granwasconvincedthatitwasherlong-deadparents,cometowatchoverher.
Anothertime,weweresittingoutsideonherporchandIsawaredbird."Isthataredcrossbill?"I’daskedGran.
She’dshakenherhead."MysisterGloriaisacrossbill,"Granhadsaid,referringtomyrecentlydeceasedgreat-auntGlo,withwhomGranhadnevergottenalong."Shewouldn’tbecomingaroundhere."
GrampsisstaringintothedregsofhisStyrofoamcup,peelingawaythetopofitsothatlittlewhiteballscollectinhislap.Icantellit’stheworstkindofswill,thekindthatlookslikeitwasbrewedin1997andhasbeensittingonaburnereversince.Evenso,Iwouldn’tmindacup.
YoucandrawastraightlinefromGrampstoDadtoTeddy,althoughGramps’swavyhairhasgonefromblondtograyandheisstockierthanTeddy,whoisastick,andDad,whoiswiryandmuscularfromafternoonweight-liftingsessionsattheY.Buttheyallhavethesamewaterygray-blueeyes,thecoloroftheoceanonacloudyday.
MaybethisiswhyInowfindithardtolookatGramps.
JuilliardwasGran’sidea.She’sfromMassachusettsoriginally,butshemovedtoOregonin1955,onherown.Nowthatwouldbenobigdeal,butIguessfifty-twoyearsagoitwaskindofscandalousforatwenty-two-year-oldunmarriedwomantodothatkindofthing.Granclaimedshewasdrawntowildopenwildernessanditdidn’tgetmorewildthantheendlessforestsandcraggybeachesofOregon.
