Если я останусь

           Itwastheuncertainty.Whatwasthis,exactly?Adate?Afriendlyfavor?Anactofcharity?Ididn’tlikebeingonsoftgroundanymorethanIlikedfumblingmywaythroughanewmovement.That’swhyIpracticedsomuch,soIcouldrushmyselfonsolidgroundandthenworkoutthedetailsfromthere.

           Ichangedmyclothesaboutsixtimes.Teddy,akindergartnerbackthen,satinmybedroom,pullingtheCalvinandHobbesbooksdownfromtheshelvesandpretendingtoreadthem.Hecrackedhimselfup,thoughIwasn’tsurewhetheritwasCalvin’shighjinksormyownmakinghimsogoofy.

           Mompoppedherheadintocheckonmyprogress."He’sjustaguy,Mia,"shesaidwhenshesawmegettingworkedup.

           "Yeah,buthe’sjustthefirstguyI’veevergoneonamaybe-datewith,"Isaid."SoIdon’tknowwhethertoweardateclothesorsymphonyclothes—dopeoplehereevendressupforthatkindofthing?OrshouldIjustkeepitcasual,incaseit’snotadate?"

           "Justwearsomethingyoufeelgoodin,"shesuggested."Thatwayyou’recovered."I’msureMomwould’vepulledoutallthestopshadshebeenme.InthepicturesofherandDadfromtheearlydays,shelookedlikeacrossbetweena1930ssirenandabikerchick,withherpixiehaircut,herbigblueeyescoatedinkohleyeliner,andherrail-thinbodyalwaysensconcedinsomesexygetup,likealacyvintagecamisolepairedwithskintightleatherpants.

           Isighed.IwishedIcouldbesoballsy.Intheend,Ichosealongblackskirtandamaroonshort-sleevedsweater.