Если я останусь

           IfeellikeIcannolongerkeepupwiththembuttheykeepcomingandeverythingiscolliding,untilIcannottakeitanymore.UntilIcannotbelikethisonesecondlonger.

           Thereisablindingflash,apainthatripsthroughmeforonesearinginstant,asilentscreamfrommybrokenbody.Forthefirsttime,Icansensehowfullyagonizingstayingwillbe.

           ButthenIfeelAdam’shand.Notsenseit,butfeelit.I’mnotsittinghuddledinthechairanymore.I’mlyingonmybackinthehospitalbed,oneagainwithmybody.

           AdamiscryingandsomewhereinsideofmeIamcrying,too,becauseI’mfeelingthingsatlast.I’mfeelingnotjustthephysicalpain,butallthatIhavelost,anditisprofoundandcatastrophicandwillleaveacraterinmethatnothingwilleverfill.ButI’malsofeelingallthatIhaveinmylife,whichincludeswhatIhavelost,aswellasthegreatunknownofwhatlifemightstillbringme.Andit’salltoomuch.Thefeelingspileup,threateningtocrackmychestwideopen.TheonlywaytosurvivethemistoconcentrateonAdam’shand.Graspingmine.

           AndsuddenlyIjustneedtoholdhishandmorethanI’veeverneededanythinginthisworld.Notjustbeheldbyit,butholditback.Iaimeveryremainingounceofenergyintomyrighthand.I’mweak,andthisissohard.It’sthehardestthingIwilleverhavetodo.IsummonalltheloveIhaveeverfelt,IsummonallthestrengththatGranandGrampsandKimandthenursesandWillowhavegivenme