Девять рассказов

For Esmé with Love and Squalor

           Ilookexactlylikemyfather."Shewentonbitingathercuticle."Mymotherwasquiteapassionatewoman.Shewasanextrovert.Fatherwasanintrovert.Theywerequitewellmated,though,inasuperficialway.Tobequitecandid,FatherreallyneededmoreofanintellectualcompanionthanMotherwas.Hewasanextremelygiftedgenius."

           Iwaited,receptively,forfurtherinformation,butnonecame.IlookeddownatCharles,whowasnowrestingthesideofhisfaceonhischairseat.WhenhesawthatIwaslookingathim,heclosedhiseyes,sleepily,angelically,thenstuckouthistongueanappendageofstartlinglengthandgaveoutwhatinmycountrywouldhavebeenaglorioustributetoamyopicbaseballumpire.Itfairlyshookthetearoom.

           "Stopthat,"Esmesaid,clearlyunshaken."HesawanAmericandoitinafish-and-chipsqueue,andnowhedoesitwheneverhe’sbored.Juststopit,now,orIshallsendyoudirectlytoMissMegley."

           Charlesopenedhisenormouseyes,assignthathe’dheardhissister’sthreat,butotherwisedidn’tlookespeciallyalerted.Heclosedhiseyesagain,andcontinuedtorestthesideofhisfaceonthechairseat.

           ImentionedthatmaybeheoughttosaveitmeaningtheBronxcheertillhestartedusinghistitleregularly.Thatis,ifhehadatitle,too.

           Esmegavemealong,faintlyclinicallook."Youhaveadrysenseofhumor,haven’tyou?"shesaidwistfully."FathersaidIhavenosenseofhumoratall.HesaidIwasunequippedtomeetlifebecauseIhavenosenseofhumor."

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