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Uncle Wiggly in Connecticut

           "No,Iwouldn’t!ImeanIwouldn’ttellany"

           "Oh,"saidEloise,"hisregimentwasrestingsomeplace.Itwasbetweenbattlesorsomething,thisfriendofhissaidthatwroteme.WaltandsomeotherboywereputtingthislittleJapanesestoveinapackage.Somecolonelwantedtosendithome.OrtheyweretakingitoutofthepackagetorewrapitIdon’tknowexactly.Anyway,itwasallfullofgasolineandjunkanditexplodedintheirfaces.Theotherboyjustlostaneye."Eloisebegantocry.Sheputherhandaroundtheemptyglassonherchesttosteadyit.

           MaryJaneslidoffthecouchand,onherknees,tookthreestepsovertoEloiseandbegantostrokeherforehead."Don’tcry,El.Don’tcry."

           "Who’scrying?"Eloisesaid.

           "Iknow,butdon’t.Imeanitisn’tworthitoranything.

           Thefrontdooropened.

           "That’sRamonaback,"Eloisesaidnasally."Domeafavor.Gooutinthekitchenandtellwhosistogiveherherdinnerearly.Willya?"

           "Allright,ifyoupromisenottocry,though."

           "Ipromise.Goon.Idon’tfeellikegoingouttothatdamnkitchenrightthisminute."

           MaryJanestoodup,losingandrecoveringherbalance,andlefttheroom.

           Shewasbackinlessthantwominutes,withRamonarunningaheadofher.Ramonaranasflatfootedaspossible,tryingtogetthemaximumnoiseoutofheropengaloshes.

           "Shewouldn’tletmetakehergaloshesoff,"MaryJanesaid.

           Eloise,stilllyingonherbackonthefloor,wasusingherhandkerchief.Shespokeintoit,addressingRamona."GooutandtellGracetotakeyourgaloshesoff.

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