Девять рассказов
Uncle Wiggly in Connecticut
"Theywannathinkyouspentyourwholelifevomitingeverytimeaboycamenearyou.I’mnotkidding,either.Oh,youcantellthemstuff.Butneverhonestly.Imeanneverhonestly.Ifyoutell’emyouonceknewahandsomeboy,yougottasayinthesamebreathhewastoohandsome.Andifyoutell’emyouknewawittyboy,yougottatell’emhewaskindofasmartaleck,though,orawiseguy.Ifyoudon’t,theyhityouovertheheadwiththepoorboyeverytimetheygetachance."Eloisepausedtodrinkfromherglassandtothink."Oh,"shesaid,"they’lllistenverymaturelyandallthat.They’llevenlookintelligentashell.Butdon’tletitfoolyou.Believeme.You’llgothroughhellifyouevergive’emanycreditforintelligence.Takemyword."
MaryJane,lookingdepressed,raisedherchinfromthearmrestofthecouch.Forachange,shesupportedherchinonherforearm.ShethoughtoverEloise’sadvice."Youcan’tcallLewnotintelligent,"shesaidaloud.
"Whocan’t?"
"Imeanisn’theintelligent?"MaryJanesaidinnocently.
"Oh,"saidEloise,"what’stheuseoftalking?Let’sdropit.I’lljustdepressyou.Shutmeup."
"Well,wudgamarryhimfor,then?"MaryJanesaid.
"Oh,God!Idon’tknow.HetoldmehelovedJaneAusten.Hetoldmeherbooksmeantagreatdealtohim.That’sexactlywhathesaid.Ifoundoutafterweweremarriedthathehadn’tevenreadoneofherbooks.Youknowwhohisfavoriteauthoris?"
MaryJaneshookherhead.
"L.ManningVines.Everhearofhim?"
"Uh-uh."
"NeitherdidI.
