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For Esmé with Love and Squalor

           Shesaysmylettersareahelluvalotmoreintelligentsincewebeengoin’aroundtogether."

           Xlookedupandoverathim,andsaid,withgreateffort,"Thanks.Tellherthanksforme."

           "Iwill.G’night!"Thedoorslammedshut,thistimeforgood.

           Xsatlookingatthedoorforalongwhile,thenturnedhischairaroundtowardthewritingtableandpickeduphisportabletypewriterfromthefloor.Hemadespaceforitonthemessytablesurface,pushingasidethecollapsedpileofunopenedlettersandpackages.HethoughtifhewrotealettertoanoldfriendofhisinNewYorktheremightbesomequick,howeverslight,therapyinitforhim.Buthecouldn’tinserthisnotepaperintotherollerproperly,hisfingerswereshakingsoviolentlynow.Heputhishandsdownathissidesforaminute,thentriedagain,butfinallycrumpledthenotepaperinhishand.

           Hewasawarethatheoughttogetthewastebasketoutoftheroom,butinsteadofdoinganythingaboutit,heputhisarmsonthetypewriterandrestedhisheadagain,closinghiseyes.

           Afewthrobbingminuteslater,whenheopenedhiseyes,hefoundhimselfsquintingatasmall,unopenedpackagewrappedingreenpaper.Ithadprobablyslippedoffthepilewhenhehadmadespaceforthetypewriter.Hesawthatithadbeenreaddressedseveraltimes.Hecouldmakeout,onjustonesideofthepackage,atleastthreeofhisoldA.P.O.numbers.

           Heopenedthepackagewithoutanyinterest,withoutevenlookingatthereturnaddress.Heopeneditbyburningthestringwithalightedmatch.

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