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For Esmé with Love and Squalor

           Buthewasayoungmanwhohadnotcomethroughthewarwithallhisfacultiesintact,andformorethananhourhehadbeentriple-readingparagraphs,andnowhewasdoingittothesentences.Hesuddenlyclosedthebook,withoutmarkinghisplace.Withhishand,heshieldedhiseyesforamomentagainsttheharsh,wattyglarefromthenakedbulboverthetable.

           Hetookacigarettefromapackonthetableandlititwithfingersthatbumpedgentlyandincessantlyagainstoneanother.Hesatbackatrifleinhischairandsmokedwithoutanysenseoftaste.Hehadbeenchain-smokingforweeks.Hisgumsbledattheslightestpressureofthetipofhistongue,andheseldomstoppedexperimenting;itwasalittlegameheplayed,sometimesbythehour.Hesatforamomentsmokingandexperimenting.Then,abruptly,familiarly,and,asusual,withnowarning,hethoughthefelthisminddislodgeitselfandteeter,likeinsecureluggageonanoverheadrack.Hequicklydidwhathehadbeendoingforweekstosetthingsright:hepressedhishandshardagainsthistemples.Heheldontightforamoment.Hishairneededcutting,anditwasdirty.Hehadwasheditthreeorfourtimesduringhistwoweeks’stayatthehospitalinFrankfortontheMain,butithadgotdirtyagainonthelong,dustyjeepridebacktoGaufurt.CorporalZ,whohadcalledforhimatthehospital,stilldroveajeepcombat-style,withthewindshielddownonthehood,armisticeornoarmistice.TherewerethousandsofnewtroopsinGermany.

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