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Chapter 36

           ButIwasmistakenandoutofthismistakecomesallmyperplexity,painandbewildermentIcannotunderstandwhymylovebelovedbeyondallwordorthoughtshouldscornmeandrepulsemewithsuchbitterloathing!Itissuchacommonthingnow-a-daysforamarriedwomantohaveherownlover,apartfromherhusbanddeconvenance!ThewritersofbooksadviseitIhaveseenthecustomnotonlyexcusedbutadvocatedoverandoveragaininlongandscientificarticlesthatareopenlypublishedinleadingmagazines.WhythenshouldIbeblamedormydesiresconsideredcriminal?Aslongasnopublicscandalismade,whatharmisdone?IcannotseeititisnotasiftherewereaGodtocarethescientistssaythereisnoGod!

           ·····Iwasverystartledjustnow.IthoughtIheardLucio’svoicecallingme.Ihavewalkedthroughtheroomslookingeverywhere,andIopenedmydoortolisten,butthereisnoone.Iamalone.IhavetoldtheservantnottodisturbmetillIring;...Ishallneverring!NowIcometothinkofit,itissingularthatIhaveneverknownwhoLucioreallyis.Aprince,hesaysandthatIcanwellbelievethoughtrulyprincesnow-a-daysaresoplebeianandcommoninlookandbearingthatheseemstoogreattobelongtososhabbyafraternity.Fromwhatkingdomdoeshecome?towhatnationdoeshebelong?Thesearequestionswhichheneveranswerssaveequivocally.

           ·····Ipausehere,andlookatmyselfinthemirror.

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